Perimenopause, Menopause, Postmenopause—Let’s Get Oriented

If you’ve ever tried to understand menopause by casually Googling it, you already know how disorienting that can be.

Everything gets lumped under one word—menopause—as if it’s a single event with a start date, an end date, and maybe a small set of predictable symptoms in between. No wonder so many of us feel unprepared. We’re using one word to describe a years‑long transition with multiple phases.

So before we go any deeper, let’s get oriented.

Not with a medical lecture. Not with a quiz. Just enough clarity to help you place yourself on the map and stop wondering if you somehow missed a memo.

Perimenopause: The Long, Messy Process

Perimenopause is not the pre‑party. It’s not a short runway leading up to menopause. It is the transition.

This phase can begin years—sometimes a decade or more—before menopause itself. Hormones start fluctuating (not declining in a neat, orderly way), and the body begins experimenting. Some systems speed up, others slow down, and some feel like they’ve gone completely off‑script.

This is often where people start saying things like:

• “I don’t feel like myself.”
• “Is this anxiety, or am I just overwhelmed?”
• “Why am I so tired when nothing has changed?”

Periods may change—or not. Symptoms may be obvious—or subtle. They can come and go, overlap, disappear, and reappear months later wearing a different disguise.

Which is why perimenopause gets missed so often.

We tend to think menopause comes first, when in reality perimenopause is doing most of the heavy lifting.

Menopause: A Moment, Not the Whole Story

Here’s the part that surprises a lot of people:

Menopause is not a phase. It’s a moment.

Clinically speaking, menopause is defined as twelve consecutive months without a menstrual period. That’s it. One milestone, marked in hindsight.

There’s no bell. No certificate. No announcement that says, Congratulations, you are now menopausal.

Because we use the word menopause to describe everything that comes before and after, it ends up carrying far more weight—and confusion—than it should. We talk about “menopause symptoms” when what we’re often experiencing is perimenopause or postmenopause.

Understanding menopause as a moment—not the entire experience—can be surprisingly grounding. It helps untangle what’s happening now from what’s already passed.

Postmenopause: The Ongoing Season

Postmenopause begins after that one‑year mark and continues for the rest of your life.

This is not an afterthought. And it’s not a flat, symptomless plateau.

For some, symptoms ease. For others, new patterns emerge. Hormones settle into a new baseline, which can bring relief, clarity, or a fresh set of adjustments.

This phase is often overlooked in conversations about menopause, yet it’s where we spend the most time.

Postmenopause is where we live.

And how we understand it—and support ourselves through it—matters.

Why Language Matters

When we call everything menopause, we blur important distinctions.

We miss early signs. We misunderstand timelines. We tell ourselves we’re “late” or “early” or “behind,” when really, we’re just somewhere in the process.

Clear language doesn’t make the experience more complicated—it makes it less confusing.

Perimenopause: the transition. Menopause: the marker. Postmenopause: the ongoing phase.

You don’t need to diagnose yourself. You don’t need to label your experience perfectly. This is simply about having enough context to stop feeling lost.

If this post does nothing more than make you think, Oh. That explains a few things, then it’s done its job. But I would encourage to talk to your circle, sister, daughter, mothers, friends, it is so grounding to know that others are experiencing the same thing and it is OK. Sucks some days, it is OK.