A Second Puberty? Reframing the Experience

Somewhere in the middle of all this, a question tends to surface—sometimes with curiosity, sometimes with disbelief:

Is this basically puberty… again?

It sounds a little ridiculous at first. We survived adolescence once. Surely this can’t be the same thing.

And yet.

Hormones are shifting. Bodies are renegotiating how they function. Emotions feel closer to the surface. Energy changes. Identity questions creep in. Tolerance for nonsense drops to near zero.

If that sounds familiar, it’s because this is a developmental transition—not a breakdown.

Not Failing—Reorganizing

We’re quick to assume that when something feels unfamiliar or uncomfortable, something must be wrong.

But what if this isn’t failure?

What if it’s reorganization?

During this transition, hormonal systems aren’t shutting down—they’re recalibrating. The body is shifting from one long-established rhythm to another. That kind of change is rarely quiet or linear.

When viewed through that lens, the symptoms tell a different story. Not something is broken, but something is changing its operating system.

That reframing alone can soften a lot of unnecessary self-blame.

Identity, Boundaries, and Energy Shifts

This phase doesn’t just affect how the body functions—it often reshapes how we move through the world.

Many people notice changes in:

• What they have energy for
• What they no longer want to tolerate
• How they relate to work, relationships, and expectations

Things that once felt manageable may suddenly feel exhausting. Things that were easy to ignore become impossible to unsee.

This can be unsettling—especially if you’ve spent years being capable, adaptable, and reliable.

But identity shifts are a hallmark of developmental transitions. Puberty changed how you saw yourself in the world. This can too.

Not as a loss of competence—but as a recalibration of priorities.

Why the “Second Puberty” Metaphor Helps

The value of the second puberty metaphor isn’t that it’s perfectly accurate. It’s that it’s humanizing.

Puberty was awkward. Emotional. Uneven. You didn’t know exactly what was happening, only that things were changing faster than your explanations could keep up.

Looking back, we don’t frame puberty as a personal failure. We recognize it as a necessary developmental phase.

Extending that same grace here matters.

This isn’t about going backward. It’s about moving through another threshold of change—with more life experience, and often, far less patience for pretending everything is fine.

Making Room for Grief and Possibility

Reframing this transition doesn’t mean slapping a positive spin on it.

There can be real grief here. Grief for versions of yourself that felt easier to inhabit. For bodies that responded differently. For identities that no longer fit the same way.

And.

There can also be possibility. Clarity. A sharper sense of what matters—and what doesn’t.

Both can exist at the same time.

Holding that complexity is part of the work of this phase. Not rushing to optimism. Not getting stuck in loss. Allowing the experience to be layered.

A Different Frame

If you take nothing else from this post, take this:

You are not unraveling. You are not regressing. And you are not doing this wrong.

This is a developmental transition—one that asks for curiosity instead of judgment, and context instead of criticism.

Next up: The Seven Phases—A Framework, Not a Box